UDiane Morgan uhleli engcangcazela kwindawo yokutyela eshushu eempuma London, ejonge kwimenyu. Umlungiseleli ubuza ukuba angathanda na amanzi akhe asekhona. Ewe, okanye cofa nje nceda. Uye wandijonga. Uyabona ukuba ndiphantsi kangakanani emhlabeni?
Isibhengezo
Emva koko ndibuyele kumncedisi. Ndingayifumana ifillet yesalmon eyosiweyo, nceda? Buyela kum kwakhona. Yiva ukuba izandla zam zibanda kangakanani. Zihamba zimfusa. Ndine-Raynaud's [isifo, esichaphazela ukujikeleza kwegazi]. Laa mfazi, uGqirha Foster, naye unayo. Ubizwa ntoni? U-Suranne Jones. Kushushu kakhulu apha kuwe?
UMorgan uthetha ngokukhawuleza kwaye ukhathazekile, ngokuhleka okukhulu. Wayengenakuba ngaphantsi kokutshintsha kwakhe, uPhilomena Cunk - umboniseli kamabonakude opholileyo uyacotha, akakhathali kwaye uyadika engenangqondo ngabantu abenza udliwanondlebe nabo. Ngoku uCunk, owaqala ukubonakala njengomlingiswa kuCharlie Brooker's Sula iVeki, unikwe uthotho lokuqala - imbali yaseBritane.
- I-BBC ityhila iinkcukacha zecandelo elitsha ezintlanu zePhilomena Cunk uthotho lweCunk eBritane
- UMaxine Peake kunye noPhilomena Cunk inkwenkwezi uDiane Morgan bajoyine imikhosi yokuhlekisa ngodade omtsha
UMorgan wenze elinye ithuba elimangalisayo lokujongana no-po eSharon Horgan no-Graham Linehan's sitcom Motherland, njengomama ongatshatanga uLiz. Unokuba mhle kakhulu - njengakwifoto yanamhlanje - kodwa uMorgan naye usebenzisa loo mlomo uguqulweyo, loo mehlo makhulu aluhlaza kunye nezikhamiso ezithe tyaba zaseLancastrian ukubonisa ukungakhathali, ukungaqondi nokudana ngokugqwesileyo.
Uthi kwathatha iminyaka yakhe ukuqonda ukuba ubuso bakhe bunokuba bubutyebi bakhe. Ndinobuso nje obuzolileyo, kwaye ndiyayazi indlela yokuyisebenzisa. Xa ndandikwisikolo sedrama, abantu babengathathi imifanekiso yabo rhoqo emva kwemizuzu emihlanu. Ngoko andizange ndiyiqonde indlela endikhangeleka ngayo. Kuphela kuxa abantu baqala ukuzifota apho ndaye ndazijonga ndacinga: ‘Owu Thixo wam, ndikhangeleka ndilusizi nyani.’ Naxa ndonwabile ndibonakala ndilusizi.
imbewu yamapere
Intombi ye-physiotherapist kunye nomama ohlala ekhaya, uMorgan, 42, ukhulele eBolton. Njengomntwana wayenomdla wokuhlekisa-ngakumbi uPeter Cook kunye noTony Hancock. Wayefuna ukuba ngumhlekisi, kodwa wayengazi ukuba angayenza njani loo nto, kwaye wagqiba kwelokuba enze eyona ndlela ibalaseleyo.
Ndixelele umntu okhathalelayo [esikolweni] ndifuna ukuba ngumdlali weqonga kwaye wandijonga ngokungathi bendisithi ndingathanda ukuba yintshatsheli. Undixelele ukuba kunokuba lula ukuya kwindawo efana ne-Snappy Snaps kwaye ndisebenze ngendlela yam. Hahahahaha!
Njengoko kusenzeka, ukubambela kwakungeyiyo loo nto inamabhongo. Izihlobo ezibini ezikude kwicala likayise zazingabadlali abaphumelelayo - uJulie Goodyear, owayedlala iBet Lynch kwisitalato iCoronation iminyaka emininzi, noJack Wild, owayedume ngokuba nguArt Dodger kwifilimu yowe-1968 uOliver!
UMorgan wayenomhlobo omkhulu owayezimisele ukuyenza njengomdlali weqonga- uMaxine Peake. Emva kokuba bobabini besilele ukungena kwisikolo sedrama, bathathe isigqibo sokuba iNorth-ism ibabambile, kwaye yayilixesha lokuba bafunde. Akukho namnye kuthi ongena kwisikolo sedrama kwaye sicinga ukuba kufanelekile kungenxa yendlela esithetha ngayo. Ke besizakuphakama kule ndlu yelixhegwazana eBolton, sihlale esofeni siye ku'Ommmmm '.
Ngaba iyasebenza? Hayi, asikwazanga ukuyenza. Ngokukodwa uMaxine. Uvakala njengoFred Dibnah!
Ekugqibeleni uMorgan wangena kwisikolo somdlalo weqonga, e-East 15 e-Essex, kwaye wathi yayiyothuko olukhulu kwinkcubeko. Wayevela kusapho apho iimvakalelo zazichazwa ngcono ngokuxhawulwa ngokuqinileyo, kwaye ngequbuliso wayejikelezwe ziindidi ezinobukrelekrele.
Ungafumana abantu abaninzi beze nje kuwe kwaye baqale ukukuthambisa. Ndingathanda ukuba, ‘Hamba! Wenza ntoni? ’Zifana neehippie kwisikolo sedrama. Bafuna ukukuthinta nje kwaye batolike amaphupha akho.
Uhlafuna i-salmon yakhe kunye nokuphazamiseka. Yayiyinto esemazantsi, ndacinga, kunye nedrama yesikolo. Yayililizwe elahluke ngokupheleleyo.
Kwaye uthini ngale ndlela yokubiza - ibimthintele? Bavakalelwa kukuba ungahambela kwiimpawu ezahlukeneyo ukuba unegama elingakhethi cala, elaliyi-RP. Kwaye loo nto iphelele b ****** s, akunjalo? Ngenxa yokuba i-RP ayisiyonto ingathathi cala. Ukugxininisa kwam nguBolton.
Ngaba loo nto yamcaphukisa? Yenza kancinci.
UMorgan uthi ngela xesha wayeka isikolo sedrama wayesele emgonile. Kodwa ayizange imenzele nto. Wayengakwazi ukufumana umsebenzi wokubambela, ngoko ke wachitha iminyaka engama-20 kwiitelefoni. Umphathi wakhe wayezokumamela izimvo ezihlekisayo awazenzayo kwaye amxelele ukuba makangene. Wayehlala eyithetha kwaye ndimana ndisithi hayi, kodwa i-30 yayisiza, ndaye ndacinga, 'Ah s ** t, kufanelekile ukuba ndenze into ngobomi bam.'
Ngaphandle kwento yokuba wayengenzanga nto ekusebenzeni ngobulumko kangangeminyaka elishumi, wayehlala ekholelwa ukuba izinto ziza kuza zilungile- yayingumbandela nje wokubamba ixesha lakhe.
Ngaba uvela kusapho lwabantu abanethemba? Thixo, hayi. Ndivela kumgca omde wabantu ababi kakhulu. Hahahaha! Utata wam uyoyika. ‘Ungaze ufumane amathemba akho phezulu, emva koko awuyi kuphoxeka’ sisaci sakhe.
Ngokukhawuleza wafumanisa ukuba angaziphilisa ngokuma-phezulu, kwaye intle, kuloo nto. Ndacinga ukuba kuyamangalisa ukuba ndingenza imizuzu engama-20 ngobusuku kwaye ndizuze ngaphezulu ngeveki kunokuba bendisenza kwiifowuni. Ukuba wenze impelaveki unokufumana i- $ 400 ngegig.
Wayenjani umdlalo wakhe ohlekisayo? Ilusizi kakhulu. Ndicinga ukuba bekukho into encinci esisidenge kuba bendicinga ukuba kuphela kwendlela onokuma ngayo. Kufuneka ungoyiki. Ke bendizakuqhubeka ndijonge ngathi khange ndinike s ** t. Inomsindo nyani. Unomsindo ngobomi, unomsindo kwizinto ezenzekileyo. Kwaye bendisoloko ndiqhubeka nokujonga kancinci s, t, kananjalo, ngokungathi bendinosuku olubi.
Ngaba isenzo sakhe sasipolitiki? Hayi andizange ndibe ngumhlekisi kwezopolitiko. Iya kuba ngumsindo malunga neebhiskithi okanye enye into, okanye ootitshala esikolweni, olo hlobo lwento.
Ndiyabuza ukuba ucinga ukuba umdlalo ohlekisayo uza kuba nomzuzu #MeToo, njengomzi mveliso wefilimu. Undijonge ngathi ndiyaphambana. Andicingi njalo. Ewe, ndithi, ndicinga ukuba yenzekile kwiminyaka embalwa eyadlulayo xa iinkqubo zepaneli yeTV zahlaselwa ngenxa yokungabikho komelo lwabasetyhini.
amagqabi etumata ajikela phezulu
Ewe, uthi, bambalwa abantu ababhinqileyo abahlekisayo kunamadoda kwaye wayengoyena mntu wasetyhini kuphela, kodwa ayiyongxaki kuye. Wonke umntu kufuneka abe noluvo kule mihla, akunjalo? Into endifuna ukuyenza kukuhlekisa abantu.
Andiqinisekanga ukuba ndiyamkholelwa. Enye into, ubonakala enoluvo oluqinisekileyo ekugxininiseni kwakhe ukuba akathandi. Ngokuthe ngcembe wayeka ukumisa umabonakude njengoko waye wanikwa indima yokubambela ngakumbi (iinxalenye ezithile kuthotho lweTV kunye nezihlekisi zePhoenix Nights kunye neWebhu kaRobert). Ukuphumelela kwakhe okukhulu bekungekho ngo-2013, xa waqala njengoPhilomena Cunk, kwiCharlie Brooker yeVeki yeVeki. I-Motherland ibe yimpumelelo, kodwa i-Cunk emihlanu yaseBrithani iyona gig yakhe ephezulu kakhulu.
Isitayile se-Cunk's mockumentary sihlala sisesona sihlekisayo xa abantu ekwenziwa udliwanondlebe nabo bemangalisiwe okanye benomsindo kukungazi kweCunk. Eyona nto yayinomsindo yile sayenzayo ku Churchill. Ndibuze [ingcali] ukuba kutheni ayila iTippex, kwaye kuyacaca ukuba wayenenja emnyama, ngubani igama lakhe? Kwafuneka bayeke ukwenza umboniso bhanyabhanya kuba umfana wayebonakala ngokungathi uza kundibetha! Kodwa ndicinga ukuba zihlala zihamba phambili. Bahlala besebenza kakuhle xa benomsindo wokwenene.
Ngoku ingozi kukuba iCunk iya kuba lixhoba lempumelelo yayo. Kuluhlu olutsha kuhlala kukhangeleka ngathi iintloko ezithethayo zikwisiqhulo, kwaye zizama ukugcina ubuso obuthe tye. UMorgan uyazi ukuba ngeli xesha iindwendwe ezininzi ziyayazi into abazivumele ukuba bangene kuyo.
Abanye abantu baya kungena bahambe ‘Hayi ndiyayithanda iCunk!’ Kwaye bayazi ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni. Abanye bazakuthi, ‘Andiyazi ukuba yintoni le, kodwa intombi yam indixelele ukuba ndiyenze.’ Sifuna ezinye iibhokisi zembali ezingayibukeliyo telly.
Kodwa ukuba iCunk yaziwa kakhulu ukuba igcine isimanga, elo lixabiso elincinci lokuhlawula impumelelo, utshilo uMorgan. Umboniso kungafuneka uye eMelika, apho kushushu khona - ethi, iyakulungela iRaynaud. Kuyamangalisa ukuba uMorgan akafumani ikhredithi yokubhala xa uninzi lothotho luphuculwe (ababhali abaziwayo ngamadoda amane, kubandakanya uCharlie Brooker kunye neqabane lakhe uBen Caudell, owayengumphathi wezolonwabo kwiChannel 4).
Ewe, ndonwabile nje ukuphucula amabinzana odliwanondlebe kuba emva koko ungayithatha naphina. Kwanele kum. Andifuni ukuthatha umsebenzi womntu kubo.
Ngapha koko, utshilo, uneprojekthi yakhe ekuhambeni-ubhalela umdlalo wakhe kamabonakude yena nomhlobo wakhe uPeake. Yinto yokuqala yendlela ende endiyibhalileyo ke kunzima kakhulu. Andazi ukuba kukho into eza kuza ngayo. Imalunga noodade ababini abaphikisanayo.
Ubonakala enentloni. Oko kuyenza ingathi iyadika. Ndimbi kakhulu xa ndiyichaza. Ndicinga ukuba uxelela umntu umbono, iyafa ngokudlula.
Njengoko sisonga, ndibuza imibuzo embalwa ekhawulezayo yomlilo. Ngubani ongathanda ukusebenza naye? UChris Morris. Ndimbonile kutshanje kwaye uneentloni andikwazi nokumjonga. Ndenze ngathi khange ndimbone.
Yintoni le imcaphukisayo? Abantu abahamba kancinci esitratweni. Uyewahleka. Ndiyinika ukujonga.
Yiza, kukho izinto ezimbi kakhulu ezenzekayo phaya… Kwaye ngeli xesha impendulo yakhe ayithethi kuphela, kodwa iyothusa njalo. Ndingambetha ngenqindi uJacob ReesMogg.
Ngoba? Uyandijolela. Ndiye ndanikela ngokungena eringini naye ngoNcedo lweComic kwaye ndambetha.
Ngaba zikhona iiTori azithandayo? Andikwazi ukucinga ngenye. Ngaba bakhona abezopolitiko abathandayo ngasekhohlo? Ininzi. Ndingumlandeli omkhulu kaTony Benn. Kwaye ndiyamthanda uDennis Skinner, ngokucacileyo.
Utywala. Ndicinga ukuba ubutsala umlenze wam malunga nokungabikho kwezopolitiko andithi? Undijonge emehlweni, ii-hoots, kwaye uphinda imantra yakhe. Andinguye umntu wezopolitiko. Ndifuna nje ukuhlekisa abantu!
IsibhengezoI-Cunk eBrithani iqala ngoLwesibini umhla we-3 ku-Epreli nge-10 ngokuhlwa kwi-BBC2