Ezona ndlela zobuzali zimbi kakhulu kwiNkulungwane yama-20

Ezinye zeefashoni zokukhulisa abantwana kwixesha elidlulileyo zazihlekisa kwaye ziyingozi kakhulu kangangokuba kufuneka uzibuze ukuba nawuphi na umzali onengqondo ephilileyo wayenokuzilandela nzulu. Singathanda ukucinga ukuba sifundile kwiimpazamo zethu kwaye sikwixesha elinengqiqo ngakumbi ngoku. Kodwa sinokuthembela kwinto yokuba kumashumi ambalwa eminyaka, ezinye zeendlela zobuzali esizibambe ngokusondeleyo ezintliziyweni zethu namhlanje ngenye imini ziya kuphelela kuluhlu olufana nolu.

Ukusela xa ukhulelwe

Kwiminyaka emininzi yenkulungwane yama-20, ukusela utywala kwakugqalwa njengekhuselekile kulo naliphi na inqanaba lokumitha. Kuze kube kutshanje e-Great Britain nase-Ireland, bekukho inkolelo yokuba ukusela i-Guinness ngexesha lokukhulelwa kwakulungile kumntwana kuba iqulethe isinyithi. Oogqirha bade bachaza oko! Ngoku siyazi ukuba ukusela utywala ngexesha lokukhulelwa kunokubangela iziphene zokuzalwa, kwaye kukho ileyibhile yesilumkiso kuyo yonke isitya sesiselo esinxilisayo esichaza oko kanye.

Ukutshaya ngelixa ukhulelwe

Iincwadi zezifundo zokubelekisa emva phayaa ngeminyaka yee-1960 zabanga ukuba oomama abakhulelweyo banokuqhubeka ngokukhuselekileyo betshaya imidiza, ukuba nje bebeyigcina ngaphantsi kwesiqingatha sepakethi ngosuku. Kwada kwaba ngowe-1970 apho abantu baqala ukujonga ukuba ingaba ukutshaya kuyingozi na kusana olusakhulayo. Newsflash: kunjalo.

Umsi wecuba

Iingozi zomsi wecuba azizange zivunywe ngokubanzi de kwangoo-1990, ngoko ke abazali abaninzi babecinga kwanto ngokutshaya imidiza bephethe iintsana ezingalweni zabo, abantwana abasemathangeni, okanye ezimotweni zabo njengoko babeqhuba abantwana babo. Ngombulelo, ngoku siyazi ukuba ukutshaya icuba kubangela izigulo ezinxulumene nokutshaya ebantwaneni, kwaye kunokunciphisa ubomi babo.

Ukugcwala kweswekile

Ukuba ukhe wawajonga kakuhle amazinyo abazali bakho okanye oomakhulu nootatomkhulu bakho, amathuba okuba udibane nomlomo wokuzaliswa. Abantwana babedla ngokufumana imingxuma eninzi, kwaye oko kwakungenxa yokuba abazali babengazi ukuba iswekile imbi kangakanani kubo. Ekuphela kwento ababeyazi kukuba iilekese neziselo ezineswekile zazingabizi, kwaye abantwana babezithanda. Ke, uninzi lwabantwana bakhule bengenamda kwiilekese ababezitya imini yonke, okoko nje babethembise ukucoca ipleyiti yabo kamva. Abantwana abanakuze bayeke ukuthanda izinto eziswiti—kodwa noko sizazi ngakumbi iingozi zempilo ngoku.

Akukho zitulo zemoto

Kule mihla kunye neminyaka yokunyanzeliswa ngokungqongqo kwemimiselo yokuhlala kweemoto, kunzima ukukholelwa ukuba kwakukho ixesha apho kwakungekho naziphi na izihlalo zeemoto. Izihlalo zokuqala zeemoto zazisetyenziselwa ukugcina abantwana kwizihlalo zabo, kungekhona ukhuseleko lwabo. Abazali abatsha babecinga kwanto ngokuzisa abantwana babo abasandul’ ukuzalwa ekhaya bevela esibhedlele besemilonyeni yabo. Imithetho yokuqala yokhuseleko lwezihlalo zemoto ayizange ipasiswe de kwangowe-1985.

Akukho tata kwigumbi lokubeleka

Kuyo yonke inkulungwane yama-20, oogqirha babengafuni ukuba ootata babekho ngexesha lokubeleka, ngoko ke abafazi babesoloko besala besebenza bodwa. Ngeli xesha, ootata abaza kuba babehlala kwigumbi lokulinda—elikwabizwa ngokuba yiklabhu yengwamza—elalisoloko likufutshane ngokwaneleyo kwigumbi labasebenzi kunye nelokubelekela ukuze live sonke isikhalo esibuhlungu kunye nesikhalo esoyikekayo esisenziwa ngabafazi babo. Le nto intshayelelo engathandekiyo yobuzali kumama notata ishiywe ngombulelo kwixesha elidlulileyo.

Abantwana kufuneka babonwe kwaye bangeviwe

Kule mihla, abazali abanakuphupha ngokungayiphulaphuli into abantwana babo abayithethayo. Kodwa ukuza kuthi ga kwixesha lama-Victori, abantwana babengenalo lukhulu malunga nantoni na—ngokoqobo. Ngoxa abantwana babevunyelwa ukuba baphulaphule incoko, babengavunyelwa ukuba bangenelele okanye bathethe kwaphela ngaphandle kokuba umntu omdala uthethe nabo kuqala.

Lungisa uthando lwakho

Ngeminyaka yee-1920, ingcali yabazali uJohn Watson yacebisa ukuba abazali bangaze babange okanye babaphuze abantwana babo, okanye babayeke bahlale emacaleni abo. Abantwana bafanele babuliswe kusasa ngokuxhawula izandla ngokuqinileyo. Ubukhulu becala, babenokulindela ukubampambathwa ngokukhawuleza entloko, kodwa kuphela ukuba benze into engaqhelekanga. Ingqiqo yayikukuba nawuphi na umsa wokwenyama wawuya konakalisa abantwana—kwaneentsana.

Coca ipleyiti yakho.

Kukho abantwana abalambileyo eAfrika. Ukuba ukhe weva lo mgca kubazali bakho okanye kumakhulu nootatomkhulu bakho, uyazi konke malunga nohambo lwetyala kwitafile yesidlo sangokuhlwa. Kwakukho ixesha apho abantwana kwakufuneka batye yonke into abayiphakelweyo, enoba bayathanda okanye babengathandi. Ukungagqibi ukutya okulungileyo kwabonwa njengenkcitho engaxolelekiyo. Kodwa ngoku amazinga okutyeba kwabantwana ayenyuka kwihlabathi liphela, ukunyanzela abantwana ukuba bagqibe yonke into yokuluma kwenza umonakalo omkhulu kunokulunga. Ikhuthaza imikhwa yokutya engafanelekanga ngokuqeqesha abantwana ukuba bangayihoyi imiqondiso yabo yendlala kwaye batye xa bengalambanga.

Gcina intonga, yonakalisa umntwana

Kwakungekudalanga ukuba isohlwayo sokubethwa siqhelekile kwaye samkelwa ngokubanzi njengendlela yoluleko oluyimfuneko kubantwana. Isohlwayo somzimba sasisetyenziswa ngabazali nootitshala ukulungisa indlela yokuziphatha engathandekiyo nokomeleza igunya. Ngoku siyazi ukuba olu hlobo lwengqeqesho lunxulunyaniswa nokuziphatha okungathandekiyo ebantwaneni, okunokubalandela ukuya ebudaleni.